Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
