You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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