She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
