Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
