And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize