HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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