Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
