we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize