I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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