there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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