Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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