? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
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