i think my tv is drunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
