Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
