she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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