I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
