the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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