My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
