Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
