I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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