Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize