Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
