so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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