oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
