Quick, to the slutcave!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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