how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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