i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
