This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
