k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
