we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
