Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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