He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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