Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize