I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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