Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
