her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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