I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
false alarm. still invincible.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
