I love black thongs
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
