She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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