The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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