I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
