I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
