I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
