I just pynch a tree in the face
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was CRYING into my vagina
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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