"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize