he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
