He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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