I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
