so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
