i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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