hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
