Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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