he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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