Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
