I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
