Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
