So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Randomize