nut hugger
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
