Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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