he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
