first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
