just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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