I should be sponsored by Trojan
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize