He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
