I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
