If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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