Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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