i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
