well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize