Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's just like the Real World with babies
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
