So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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